


Pretend I’m Something Better Than These Broken Parts

by BeccatheBiscuitBaker



Series: BBB Vampire Fics [2]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Cuddling, Established Relationship, Evan’s a vampire, Fluff, Heidi is a great mom, M/M, Pastel Connor, Punk Evan, Self Harm, Tree Bros, Ugg - Freeform, Vampires, i cant sleep, kinda angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 06:59:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15091502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccatheBiscuitBaker/pseuds/BeccatheBiscuitBaker
Summary: Connor knows about Evan’s condition, but no one else does.Evan tried not to break under the guilt he feels.





	Pretend I’m Something Better Than These Broken Parts

**Pretend I’m Something Better Than These Broken Parts**

Connor was practically dancing on his way to Evan’s. In the past week they spent time discussing Evan’s new found life, and things were clear to Connor now. Nothing changed, Evan just had weird eating habits.

Connor let himself in the house for once, something he had been told he could do several times, and walked to Evan’s room. Evan met Connor half way.

”Hey” Evan greeted, slipping past Connor to go down.

”Hi” Connor smiled, following the boy.

Evan seemed on edge. Connor tried hugging the shorter boy and was surprised that Evan squeezed back so tightly. It hurt a little.

”Ouch” Connor whispered.

”Sorry” Evan mumbled, releasing Connor.

”Why are you so frazzled” Connor asked.

“Only you would say that” Evan chuckled. “The community had a meeting last night and they got on my nerves.”

”I thought they were nice” Connor mumbled.

”They are” Evan assured, digging in the fridge for something. “But two idiots threatened to bite you.”

”Why me” Connor demanded.

”Because I’m dating you” Evan drawled. “And those idiots thought they could touch you! I’m just worried, they could hurt you. Vampires bite to kill. I was lucky to survive my bite.”

Connor watched Evan pull out a bottle with a special symbol on it. He also pulled out another bottle that looked similar, but no symbol was on the bottle. Evan closed the fridge and passed Connor the second bottle.

“I felt bad” Evan shrugged. “Cause you see me with these all the time. So I got you a smoothie to make up for it.”

”Thanks Ev” Connor beamed.

Connor pranced over and Evan pulled him in for a kiss. Which lead to another, and another, and soon Connor was pinned against a wall. Connor felt something sharp dig into his bottom lip, but ignored the sting. Then Evan pulled back, he looked concerned.

”Are you okay” Connor asked.

”I need my fangs filed” Evan shuddered. “They poked you.”

”I didn’t really notice” Connor mumbled.

”Y-Your lip is bleeding Connor” Evan stuttered. “I don’t w-want to lose it again. You smell amazing.”

”I think you should just go for it” Connor offered. “I really wouldn’t mind.”

”No” Evan whispered. “Please, I don’t wanna hurt you.”

”You won’t” Connor assured, stepping closer.

Connor physically saw Evan’s pupils go from their normal shape to the slits that he saw when he first found out. Evan was trying hard to not do anything. Connor wouldn’t admit it, but he liked seeing Evan desperate. Connor stood right in front of Evan, that’s all it took.

 

Evan broke and pushed Connor back into the wall. Evan sucked on Connor’s lip while the other boy tried to kiss him. Evan knew he was better than that, but Connor tasted amazing. It was like a drug. It wasn’t the less satisfying animal blood they put in everything that Evan ate and drank. It was fresh, it was human, and it was Connor.

Evan pulled back when the lip wasn’t going to give more. Connor’s lips were red from the pulling. Evan felt high. He hadn’t done any drugs since becoming a vampire, okay he tried once and was sick for two days, but this had to be the replacement. That meant Evan couldn’t do it. Drugs were bad, thus human blood was bad.

”Evan” Connor cooed. “You’re shaking.”

”You taste really good” Evan babbled. “Don’t let me do that again.”

”Evan” Heidi called. “I’m home. Oh, hi Connor!”

”Shit” Evan whispered. “Con, I’m screwed.”

”Answer her” Connor shoved.

”H-Hey Mom” Evan shook.

”Are you okay” Heidi asked.

”W-Why wouldn’t I be” Evan laughed.

”You’re shaking like a dog” Heidi deadpanned.

Evan wasn’t thinking properly. His brain kept telling him to go back to Connor and find a way to get his fangs out, but Evan shook that away. That didn’t mean he was thinking properly.

“You smell different than Connor” Evan smiled.

”What” Heidi snorted.

”Connor smells super sweet” Evan grinned. “You smell more...tangy.”

”You aren’t talking about perfume” Heidi sighed.

Evan shook his head.

”You knew I would tell Connor” Evan asked.

”I knew it would come out eventually” Heidi nodded.

”I’m surprised I handled it so well” Connor mumbled. “Oh, Ev, my parents want you to come over for dinner.”

”What are you having” Evan asked, the buzz from Connor’s blood fading quickly.

”I think pork loin” Connor recalled.

“Sure” Evan nodded.

”Okay” Connor smiled. “I’ve gotta get back home, see you at five.”

Evan waved as Connor walked out the door. He could feel himself losing his punk persona every day. He didn’t mind it. Evan turned back to Heidi and started explaining how Connor found out.

 

Connor was pacing in his room. He had a horrible idea. But he loved the look in Evan’s eyes. The need, it drove Connor crazy. That’s why he was pacing the room with a torn apart pencil sharpener in his hand. Connor hadn’t cut himself since he was twelve. Was it worth it? As long as he didn’t go deep he should be fine. He waited for Evan to text that he was on his way before doing anything.

 

Evan smelt it the moment he walked into the Murphy house. Connor. Evan jumped up the stairs in two bounds and went into Connor’s room. The boy in question was lying on the floor, cuts along his arms. And from what Evan could smell, one on his neck and one near his ear. Why his ear?

Evan knew he was gonna lose it. Connor smelt amazing, but he needed help.

”Connie” Evan called. “Are you okay?”

”Yeah” Connor’s voice mumbled.

”I can’t come closer babe” Evan warned. “Can you get up?”

”I need help” Connor whispered.

”Connie, I can’t” Evan repeated. “I could hurt you, trust me I’m holding back right now.”

”Evan” Connor groaned. “Someone’s gotta make it stop”.

Evan  tried to stay calm, but his body had other plans. It was like he wasn’t in charge. Next thing he knew, Evan was on top of Connor. Evan cleaned up the wrists and made sure they wouldn’t bleed, Evan went to Connor’s ear next, Evan was losing the little control he had. Evan finally went to Connor’s neck. Every part of him was screaming to bite. Evan threw himself off of Connor, but his brain was fucked up.

”Ev” Connor whispered.

Evan turned and crawled back over, fangs bared out. Evan didn’t want this. He loved Connor, he didn’t want him to die. Why was Evan so close to Connor’s neck? Evan turned last minute and bit into Connor’s triceps instead of his neck.

“Ouch” Connor cried.

Evan pulled back and backed into a corner. He hurt Connor. He almost killed someone. He almost killed Connor. Connor stared at the two dents in his arm, they thankfully weren’t bleeding. Evan wasn’t shaking from the blood, he was shaking from an anxiety attack.

”Evan” Connor called.

”Stay away” Evan warned.

”Evan, what’s wrong” Connor asked.

”I almost killed you” Evan whispered. “That’s why we’re supposed to stay away from humans and their blood. I’m so sorry Connor.”

“It’s my fault” Connor mumbled.

”How is it your fault Connie” Evan cracked. “I’m the idiot who came in here. I could smell you from the moment I stepped into the house. I could have told Cynthia and she would have helped you.”

”I did it on purpose” Connor stated. “Because you looked desperate and needy, I’ve never seen that in you before. I thought you would be happier, and I would see that side of you that you hide. I didn’t know it would lead to this.”

”You’re an idiot” Evan groaned. “Ever since I was bit, hell even before that, I just wanted the pain to go away. Connie, I can’t stay mad because you’ve been fixing it, but I just...”

“You wanna pretend you’re better” Connor finished.

“Yeah” Evan nodded. “I’d rather pretend I’m something better than these broken parts. Just pretend I’m something other than this mess that I am.”

”Evan” Connor whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Never do that again” Evan muttered. “And you will be forgiven.”

”Okay” Connor smiled.

Evan crawled over to Connor and rubbed the taller boy’s stomach, a weird action that calmed them both.

“I’m not gonna need to eat for days” Evan sighed.

“What about tonight” Connor asked. “You know how my mom gets.”

”I think I’ll be okay” Evan yawned.

”You wanna nap” Connor chuckled.

”Fuck off, you wanted vulnerable” Evan murmured, rolling into Connor.

 

Connor watched Evan nap. This was better than needy. Evan usually never let his guard down like this. Connor reached up and grabbed a cream colored sweater to throw on. His parents didn’t need to see.

”Hey Connor” Zoe called, walking into the room. “Are you okay?”

”I’m fine” Connor assured.

”Do you wanna do our nails if Evan doesn’t drag you over to his house” Zoe asked.

”Yeah” Connor nodded. “I’d like that.”

”Okay” Zoe smiled. “Dinner will be ready in ten.”

Zoe walked away and Connor snuggled closer to Evan. This was nice. Connor drifted off soon too.

”Boys” Cynthia’s voice sang. “C’mon. Dinner.”

Connor opened his eyes and stared down at Evan. He opened his eyes and stared back.

”We’re up” Connor yawned.

Cynthia padded back downstairs and the boy’s stood up. Connor embraced Evan while he was still warm before following his mother. Connor was at the bottom of the stairs when Evan froze.

”Garlic” Evan hissed.

”You said the myths weren’t real” Connor whispered.

”I said most of them weren’t” Evan mumbled. “Garlic is bad news. I’ll make it through dinner, but it won’t be pretty after that.”

”I’ll get you home” Connor assured. “I don’t know what mom made that has garlic.”

”Spaghetti” Zoe said, barreling down the stairs.

”Of course” Evan shuddered.

 

From the moment Evan walked into the room he could feel his usually cool cheeks go pink. Evan choked his way through dinner and made an excuse to get home. Connor drove him and Evan felt dizzy by the time he arrived home.

”I feel sick” Evan slurred, calling out to his empty house.

”Bathroom” Connor mumbled into his ear.

Evan stumbled through the house and locked himself and Connor in the bathroom. He hated garlic.

 

Connor wasn’t squeamish to blood, but he hated sick people. Whenever Evan threw up Connor looked away to keep himself from doing the same. The one time Connor saw he learned that it was red and that was just...nope.

After an hour Evan declared he was okay and pushed Connor out so he could shower. Only to have to step out to grab clothes. Connor sat on Evan’s bed and waited. When Evan stepped out with a blue striped polo shirt and khakis, Connor froze.

”I’m losing my edge” Evan sighed.

“You look better” Connor smiled.

”Thanks” Evan chuckled. “Movies and cuddles?”

”Sounds perfect” Connor nodded.


End file.
